The Beginning of the End.

This was the first email that I sent to Dell Corporate Office after many failed attempts to get Dell's Indian Technicians to hear me out.




As a result I was given a corporate rep to deal with my issues, and eventually lead to a replacement system. 


If you too are struggling, try writing a letter like this:




To whomever has been given the joyful and self-destructive job of reading these emails for Michael Dell:

I have spent (wasted) the last year and half of my life using a Dell Inspiron 1525 to (attempt) to meet all of my DAILY computer needs. I wish the webcam on this laptop actually worked (even being able to access it would be nice) so that I could show you just how frustrating it is every morning when I wake up and press that stupid little button in the middle of this slab of crap. This thing that I am typing to you on seems to control itself....when I click on something INSPIRON decides when to follow the command (whether its10 seconds or 14 minutes) when I am finished clicking on something, INSPIRON decides when to get rid of all the last highlighted text 'ghosts'. When INSPIRON turns on, it decides to make loads of noise (and the fan and processor continually do so) until I finally remove the juice of life from its metallic veins. 

As if you don't have bad enough press as it is (and severely mind-numbing commercials) I'd like to remind you how viral your business is. The more you continue to fail at creating half-decent computing systems, providing half-decent customer service (they can at least have their native language be the same language that 83% of your consumers speak, DUH!!) then the more you will continue to receive those crappy red reports from Brian (not so) Gladden about how you can't keep any customers. 

Like I said I have been having problems with my system ever since I received it a year and a half ago. Please spent a minute and hear what I have experienced. I have had to reinstall windows 4, count 'em, FOUR times in the past 12 months. Now being the president of a super huge computer company, you of all people should understand that that is a PROBLEM. In case it hasn't happened to you yet, (which if you used any of your own products I'm sure it will have) when the system fails and you have to reinstall, you lose ALL OF YOUR DATA! ----photos, memories, conversations, movies, music, PROGRAMS, settings, documents, confidence, patience, EVERYTHING. --- Imagine experiencing that once every 3 months. 

Imagine having to have your hard drive replace on the last time. Imagine having to call flippin New Delhi and explain to Muhammed (or George as he goes by..) OH WAIT, he doesnt speak English. Or understand it. So he passed you onto to HOLD where you wait 19 minutes for another guy, who says he is a 'Manager' (shift manager of a call center in India..wow I feel cared for...) He puts on a very English sounding accent for the first few words and as soon and his memorized speach is over its back to 'bery bery bad engliss' 

By the way, this is the 1st time in 7 calls that you have gotten through to someone who will attempt to help. So he says he will replace your hard drive. Great, you think. "When will that be?" ....."umm 4 days from now, Sir" .."but I have paid for the next business day guarantee..?"   "Yes Sir, but no one is available tomorrow in your area." ---btw he had to ask what area I lived in, and when I told him he severely mispronounced it. Good one.

To cut a long story short (although it wasted hours and hours of my life, why shouldn't it waste yours?) I had to spend 4 1/2 WEEKS waiting for my ownership to be transfer to my new address before someone came to me. 

The guy who did come was ok. but left me with an UNFORMATTED computer cause he had another job to go to AND IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH he damaged my computer in replacing the drive. 

Noticing this 3 weeks later I called the Customer Service team and told them I wanted the casing fixed that their guy had broken, but I could not get it fixed because I had to leave the country for personal reasons and if I wanted it fixed I would have to transfer my ownership back to the US team (which also goes to INDIA). I did not want to take that road again SO I waited the 2 months until I came back, but which time when I called them up again they said it was too late to claim. 

I could seriously go on for another 2000 words, but I want to just make my point. I told this guy that the service was appalling and for me to be getting so many errors and problems on a system that is less that 2 years old, a system that YOU PERSONALLY WOULD PUT YOUR NAME ON, is pathetic. I also informed him that I run an IT training suite as part of my job where we have 12 Dell laptops - and if the service was going to remain this poor then I would not return to Dell when said systems needed upgrading, I still got no response. Great Business model Michael!!!! 

I desire I response from you. In fact I desire a return on my money, my hard earned $800 that my dad worked his ass off for to buy me this hunk of junk. AT THE MINIMUM offer me a new system to renew my faith in your name and your company, as well as keeping my business for the dozen systems I will be upgrading. 

I intend to write to you or to any dell email address that I can get a hold of until i get an honest, thought out, and non-automated response to discuss resolving this massive problem. If I am not contacted, I WILL FIND EVERY NERD BLOG, EVERY NEWSPAPER (INCLUDING SAN FRANCISCO'S) THAT WILL LISTEN, EVERY FREE MEDIA SOURCE I CAN, AND POST THIS EMAIL TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO EVERYONE THAT THIS COMPANY HAS ZERO CREDIBILITY. 

To prove all of this I will provide you with my computer's ID (i've even memorized it from all the Indians asking for it) 1****H*. 

I await your (hopefully) vindicating solution,